THAT I WISH I’D KNOWN THEN
By Julie Adamen

Trust yourself. In a survey we took a few years ago, managers told us that a big part of the stress in community management is the fact that you just have no idea what is going to come next. Of course, you have your calendars and action lists and all that, but disaster can strike at anytime – and will. Remember: You can’t control the event, or the eventuality of the event. But you can TRUST YOURSELF to be able to deal with the event. If you have been managing anywhere past the two year mark, you can handle just about anything – or find someone who can. There is no reason to be stressed about the unknown because you have the tools to handle it.

If you are a new manager you may not know exactly what to do in a given crisis, but chances are someone in your office does. Or a vendor does. If you are on site, a colleague at another property will. At the very least, you can contact your local professional organization and get referred to someone experienced (pride be damned!). Hey – some of you have called me! And that is ok. You have resources, use them, and stop stressing so much.

Be a leader: Call a duck a duck. If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, why still call it a penguin? Because everyone else is still calling it a penguin.  When something isn’t working, say it isn’t working. If something isn’t true, say it isn’t. I don’t mean stand up in a Board meeting and point out that the Board President has just fibbed about something – I’m talking about a bigger picture.

It may be hard for you to believe, but I used to tow the party line and make no (well, little) waves because I wanted so badly to fit in with ‘current industry thinking’ and ‘current industry leaders.’ But acceptance is fleeting. Truth is not. So many of you have so much to say – but are afraid (and not without some justification) of the political repercussions of voicing your opinion. Say it. Have courage. You could change the world.

Let go. If you are a manager, chances are you subscribe to the theory that square pegs CAN fit in round holes if you pound them hard enough. This is due to your can-do, type-A personality, I- am-manager-hear-me-roar personality. NOT. If you are working very hard at something and it doesn’t feel right, and you don’t feel right, you are probably trying to make something happen that shouldn’t happen (I can attribute my first marriage to this theory!). Let it go. In the context of community management, many of these things work themselves out with less, not more, of our involvement. Guide issues to a conclusion, don’t force them.

Stop fighting it – manage it. (Or, the biggest pains can be the biggest learning experiences). Last month I wrote about micromanagers. I wish I could go back and do it all again now, knowing much betters how to deal with them and the heartache and sleepless nights they (inadvertently) caused me. Micromanagers, busybodies, well-meaning vigilante committees. wild-eyed homeowners. I would have learned a lot more in a much shorter amount of time if I had spent less time fighting them, less time trying to educate them, less time trying to show them what I knew.  I would have been forced to develop a more amicable, creative way to deal with them and their issues – something I didn’t develop until I was out of actually managing property. I didn’t let go of that notion soon enough.

The smaller the stakes, the pettier the politics. I don’t know where I read this saying, but do I ever wish I had embraced it earlier. Once you realize the basic truth of that statement, you have a much better perspective of our entire industry: From your Boards and Committees to your company and professional organizations. Our politics are almost all petty – because the stakes are actually very small in the scheme of things.

Treat vendors better.  Point in fact: Vendors are usually the glue that holds an association together – not management. If you just took over an association and don’t know the first thing about it, the vendors can fill you in – usually cheerfully and promptly. Remember, they explained the same thing to the last 4 managers before you. They’ll explain it to the next five that come after you. 

Lastly, let’s all grow up and learn how to graciously and in a business-like fashion accept their business card or their pitch at an industry function, let them know if you are or are not interested, and move on. Chances are they paid for the luncheon. Read: They paid for the opportunity to meet you AND offset the cost of your lunch. Ouch!

Don’t anthropomorphize your Board(s). You may think you are indispensable to your Board, and they may be the greatest you ever worked with, but make no mistake they are capable of hanging you out to dry if it comes to a them or you situation, especially if you are an on site manager. In the larger scheme of things, you are a blip on their radar. This is simply a reality check, and no disparagement of Boards intended (Just ask professional city managers).

Never go in to the office at 6am on a Saturday. If you have to do this, you are overworked (there are some exceptions, like annual meeting day, etc.). Get help, get better organized, or get a new job.

Everyone isn’t going to like you.  Sad but true. This is a big problem for most women, we want everyone to like us and there is so much you have to do in the context of managing communities that make other people not “like” you. Bottom line: What other people think of you makes no material difference in your (real, whole) life. It’s your job, it’s not YOU. The sooner you try to realize, and take to heart this truth, the better you will be able to manage your communities and contribute to the industry. Remember, if they all like you, you are probably not doing your job well.