TAKE THE HIGH ROAD
By Julie Adamen

Leaving your job – voluntarily or involuntarily, is one of the most stressful things you can do in life. It’s up there with death, divorce, and moving. In my business, I deal with people all the time who are in the midst of this emotional storm – and make no mistake; it’s difficult on both ends: those who give notice, and those who receive it (and then have to scramble to find a replacement).

I asked a few people in the industry to make comments regarding this subject, and you’ll see them throughout the NewsLine – and in to next month’s publication, as well.

DOING THE DEED

First, get real about where you are at with your job. Many of the managers I talk to are so stressed out that when they do decide to leave their positions, they just about can’t face another day. Don’t let this happen to you – and don’t do it to your firm or association.  Taking the high road starts with acknowledging where you are in your professional cycle, and planning and acting accordingly. Don’t wait until you are about ready to be admitted to the loony bin to make a decision on whether or not you should stay where you are (chances are you aren’t managing well by that time, anyway). You’ll need all of your faculties to deal with the changes ahead. Hanging on to the bitter end doesn’t do you, or your firm, any good.

When you’ve made the decision, give notice in person, and in writing. The high road continues by giving adequate notice. Ask for a brief meeting with your supervisor. Look them in the eye, and be up front. (Note: The anticipation of this meeting is much worse than the actual event). Don’t be emotional. This is a business decision you are making to improve your financial, professional or personal situation. Give them your notice, assure them you will continue in your capacity and you will happy to help with a managerial transition – and do just that.  Also tender your resignation in writing. It need be nothing more than a few lines, indicating you are resigning from the firm effective on such and such a date. 

How Much is Enough Notice? If you are a portfolio manager, two weeks is appropriate. Three is generous on your part.  I know some firms ask for a month or more, and this may be appropriate if you are an executive, have an employment contract,  or are an on site manager.  But if you are a portfolio manager in the trenches, in my opinion, if your firm asks for more than two weeks notice is asking that employee to compensate for their lack of planning in the human resource area. 

What do I say to my Boards? Many managers feel connected to their Boards, and don’t want to leave without saying goodbye. Unfortunately, many management companies don’t want the manager to tell the board they are leaving: They are afraid the association will go with the manager (that says more about the management company than it does about the manager).  If you do tell your Boards you are leaving, and they ask where you are going, just tell them the name and don’t further elaborate. More than that may be considered solicitation at worst and unprofessional at best. (See related comments in this issue).

HAVING DONE THE DEED… What can you expect? 

That depends on a lot of things, but a few things come to mind first:

Where are you going? Leaving the industry? No problem. But if you are leaving for a competing firm, do not be surprised if:

1) You are persona non grata for your last weeks there. Still in sight, but out of mind and out of the loop. Your boss barely speaks to you anymore, and the rest of the staff doesn’t know how to act. You work your last weeks there as if you are having an out-of-body experience.  Try to be normal and helpful. Go to lunch with your friends; show up to work on time, attend all the meetings you are supposed to despite your ‘new’ status.  This is the high road.

2) Your stuff gets packed up and you get escorted to the door within the hour. It’s extremely traumatizing for the person it is being done to, and very disturbing for the rest of the staff – what message is it sending?

If the person was plotting to steal accounts, they could have easily taken all information the day before they gave notice. Most likely it’s a visceral reaction by those whose emotions got the best of them – and it says a lot more about them and their firm’s transition strategy than it does about the person being ‘escorted.’ That said, if this does happen to you, try to detach your emotions from the event. Act dignified, say good-bye to those in the office you wish to, and take the escort with dignity on the high road.

4) You have second, third and fourth thoughts about what you are doing. This, too, is normal. Just like filing for divorce, or finding out you ARE pregnant, you will have second thoughts.

5) Your boss comes to you on your last day there and gives you everything you have been asking for the last two years – and then some. On one hand, it’s a part of your boss’s or supervisor’s job to get the most resources (you) for the least amount of capital expenditure (their resources). Unfortunately, that balancing act often fails. One reason it fails is the manager has allowed himself to be overworked and underpaid, or abused by their association(s), or whatever, through sheer inertia. On the other side, many management firms run very close to the edge in terms of cash flow – and if they can get you to work so long for a certain amount of money, handling a certain number of accounts, well, they are staying in the black for that much longer. Think of it as a non-strategy strategy – and it works. 

The main problem I see with this method of operation - whether taken by management companies or on site communities -  is that the offer made, at this late date, to the manager is usually done disingenuously, with a tremendous amount of pressure (you have 10 minutes to decide!)  and, at times, emotional blackmail. What message is being sent to the employee, even if they stay? That they were worth it all along and it took a crisis for someone to deal with it?  What message does it send to the rest of the company? Or the rest of the staff?

If this scenario happens to you, take a deep breath, hear them out, and ask for some time alone, or time to decide. Write down all the pros and cons, sans your fears and insecurities, and make your decision. You high road will depend on what decision you make, but, if you decide to leave as planned, simply inform your supervisor that your decision stands, and thank them for the last minute offer.

How is the best way to say goodbye to your current position in community management? The nature of my business ensures that I get asked this question all the time. Being that the average manager lasts only about 4 years in the industry, others will change positions more than once, and on site managers have a limited life, it’s something we should talk about – out in the open. But, I always advise, no matter how bad your situation is, take the high road.