By Julie Adamen

Newsflash: The life of a community manager can, at times, be very stressful�

Job-related stress comes in two forms: 

Self-inflicted stress is wholly avoidable stuff you do to yourself. In my experience, most of this type of stress for community managers is caused by disorganization and procrastination.  Another great stressor is giving yourself too much importance in any given situation. Self-inflicted stress in one form or another accounts for about 50% of all stress managers feel. 

Work-inflicted stress is caused by the simple realities of the job. Those realities include, but are not limited to, continual negative input, un-measureable success of service, lack of acknowledgement of service, a over-full  workload (especially right now) and the never ending stream of deadlines.

Of course, the non job-related stress of family, health and finances, etc., contributes to and amplifies overall stress. These stresses, combined,  will wear a person down at best and make them unhinged at worst.

Why do we want to control and manage our stress? Number one is health: Physical and mental. There are many studies on this cause and effect relationship. Stress over long periods of time will cause your health to decline.  Coping with work-related stress is the key to staying minimally perturbed and continually productive in the business for the long term.

Unfortunately, there isn't one magic bullet to managing stress, but there are some successful coping methods that will get any stress-stricken manager back on track to better health.  As the title suggests, these coping methods can be summed up in four words: Depersonalize, compartmentalize, exercise and laugh.

Depersonalize

Every situation isn't all about you.  It seems counterintuitive because after all, you are involved.  But any manager can remove their personal self (personal thoughts and feelings) from a stressful situation.  Whether it is momentary stress (ugly phone call) or cumulative stress (bad week) remember: Those situations are not all about you: Other people with their own personal agendas as well as events beyond your control played a major role. Yes, your very own clients, and sometimes even your employer bring on the circumstances for your stress.  Understanding this fact as part of the job will mitigate certain amounts of self-induced, self-important stress because you are accepting you have no control of what is brought to your desk for service for real or imagined reasons.  You only have control on your reaction.

Give up ego: Never become personally invested in the results.   Becoming personally invested in any specific outcome or result is a set up for unnecessary stress.   A brief example:  A community needs re-roofing. The manager works closely with a roofing consultant puts together the specifications and the Request for Proposal (RFP), and due to underfunded reserves puts together a plan for special assessing and loan procurement.   By the time bids are ready for presentation to the Board, the manager knows  this subject inside out and makes their recommendations to the Board, confident that the Board will approve it and move on. Except - it doesn't happen because the Boards just can't wrap their arms around the magnitude of the project. The manager is crushed, demoralized and stressed because their ego got involved in the "success" of this project.  The rejection of the project was not about the manager, but about the Board. The manager did their job, and did it well. Not being personally invested means being able to let go quickly and move to the next issue. 

When you depersonalize by realizing

It's not all about you,
Your ego need not be involved; thus
You are not personally invested in any outcome

you can move to the next stress mitigation technique: Compartmentalization. 

Compartmentalize

When we look at people who have stressful jobs - really stressful jobs, like being a head of state, we wonder: How do they rise above an overwhelming barrage of work and worries every hour of every day? How do they think about nuclear weapons, famine, the economy, the book they are writing and their kid's grades? They are masters of compartmentalizing.  Here's how:

Focus. To avoid being overwhelmed at the thought of the amount of work you have to do, today, this week, this month, or in the next hour, refrain from worrying about those things not yet on your plate, or have left your plate for the time being. It may seem difficult, but it is manageable. As you work on a particular project or sit in a meeting and the next thing coming up pops in to your mind, write it down. Then turn your focus back to the current task. This in turn allows you to be there.  This won't happen overnight - but with practice you can do it. Fake it 'til you make it.

Be there.   When sitting at your desk working some task, or talking on the phone, you must be in the present:  What you are doing, what you are saying, what others are saying to you and what you are composing.  If you are not fully "in the moment," there is no way you will ever be able to recognize, analyze and respond to each issue effectively and, hopefully, only once,  as being present allows for quick and accurate completion of tasks because you  paid sufficient attention the first time. When compartmentalizing, multi-tasking is absolutely not your friend unless you are very, very skilled.  Be there.  Now:

Take each issue as it comes, and put it in its own "mental compartment."  In these compartments,   one issue does not bleed in to another because if they do (i.e., thinking about something other than what is immediately at hand), the work product becomes diluted and compromised.  To keep those issues in to their respective compartments you must be secure in the knowledge you have done the most that you can at this point on time. That security is derived from the fact that you focused all your energy, at that moment, on one issue.
 
Compartmentalization: One thing at a time by being there with focus.  Tasks or issues that are compartmentalized will allow the mind to work on any project using its fullest attention, through focus and being there. This thus allows you to provide the best direction, solution and results for any given project with the least stress possible.  

Take care of yourself

Exercise & Sweat. Most of us don't exercise nearly as much as we should, usually due to lack of time. It's understandable, we are very fast paced society and between work, kids, grocery shopping, laundry, etc., there isn't much time.  It is my sincerest suggestion that somewhere, somehow, you make time to do something physical daily. Start by taking the stairs, park at the end of the lot, not near the office door; take a walk at lunch - anything. And the more vigorous, the better. Nothing lowers stress levels better than a good cardio work out of your choice.

Eat well.  Fast food may be tasty and convenient, but it will wreak physical havoc on you, now and on down the road. Every now and then, eat a little better. Don't deprive yourself of comfort food, but if you are looking to cope with stress, a salad will do your heart better than French fries and a soda.

Get good sleep. Lack of sleep plays a large role in our failure to manage our stress levels.  Unfortunately, it can be a chicken and egg thing: When we are stressed we often have a hard time sleeping, keeping us from managing our stress.   There is a lot of information out there about sleeping and stress, and I urge you to look in to it.  Just as the two items listed above, our sleep habits and environment are wholly within our control.

Laugh every day.

The community management business is funny - really, it is, if you allow it to be. Where else would you be subjected to so many absurd situations?  Where else would people break down in to near-armed camps over shades of paint color? Where else would you receive an indignant phone call about naked people in the Jacuzzi at midnight, found by the caller with a telescopic lens on his camera? Where else would someone complain to you that the grass is too green? Only in community management do we experience these bizarre human contradictions. 

Laughing produces the same endorphins that exercise does - the ones that make you feel great, the ones that can get you through a rough meeting, or a pile of service orders.  Paul E. McGhee, PhD says, "Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health."  Michael Miller, M.D., says "The old saying that 'laughter is the best medicine" definitely appears to be true when it comes to protecting your heart."  So what's so funny out there? Us!

The Wrap up.

The number one defense against stress is to stop being in denial about how we operate.  Disorganization and procrastination are wholly within our control and can be fixed right now; however, the darkness still lurks. Stress is out there, a part of life and a reality of the business.  Take your personal self out of the equation, deal with things as they come and let go of the result. Eat well and get quality sleep: Everything looks better in the morning. This is about you: Your mental health and physical health and well-being, because all of us want you to be healthy and in this business for the long run.

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