Trending Sideways
By Julie Adamen

Do you make New Years' resolutions? I do. I always have a set that blends the personal and the professional because for the most part they are very entwine. If I am unable to achieve a few, I take solace and pride in the fact that I achieved a few. "When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either." - Leo Burnett. Here's to the stars:

I will not take it personally. [Maxima enim, patientia] Take a step back, breath deeply, disengage your emotion, and work on solving the problem in front of you, because that's what we do: We solve problems for others. That's what we are elected to do, or what we are paid to do. Always remember, the negativity swirls around the problem, not around you. Don't take it personally.

I will not worry that others did not take my advice. [Intus si recte, ne labora] Bottom line for managers, vendors, and board members: The community you manage, service, or are elected to govern is bigger than you. They can paint the trees purple and plant them upside down if enough of them want to do so. All you can do is recommend otherwise, pull your ego out of the mix, and... see below:

I will let go of the result. [Promitto] In the world of managing, servicing, or governing communities, so many things can spin out of control in an amazingly short amount of time. Because of this fact, it is very easy to become a control freak. STOP! Do your level best, tell the truth, do professional work, do your fiduciary duty, and let go of the result. Recognize that the only thing you can control is your contribution to the situation - and NOT what happens in the end.

A If I lose my job, contract, or elected position, I will accept it, act with dignity, and move on. Mourn your loss with a trusted friend or family member and move on. [Post tenebras lux] When the mourning is done, take the next step and, if applicable, start making your contacts. As one door closes, a window opens. Happens every day.

If I must terminate someone, I will do it quickly and with compassion. [Compatior] Supervisors and board members usually hate this part of their jobs, so this interaction probably doesn't get handled as well as it might. If you are the one doing the terminating, please allow the "dead-employee-walking" their professional courtesy - even if you feel they have given you none. Terminate them personally, quickly and in private, and allow them to say good-bye to their coworkers if they so desire and it is appropriate. Nothing is worse than terminating someone piecemeal.

I will not become bogged down in things that don't matter. [Fluctuat nec mergitur] Getting involved in inane drama is a colossal waste of time. This year, let's stop spending precious emotional energy and even more precious time in the first place and just say "NO!" to those things we know are unproductive for us. Which brings me to...

I will look out for myself. [Semper Fidelis] We are so conditioned to think that if we put ourselves first, we are being selfish; however, there is a big difference between selfishness and self-preservation. To think we can continually drive ourselves without re-supplying our own energy is the height of hubris. We must replenish ourselves, or the tank runs dry. Give yourself a break, the gift of time, a moment to think, or even a massage! Once you get past the self-imposed guilt, you'll notice something else: You feel good - you feel rejuvenated. You feel ready to give, and give good stuff. And when that happens, you are even better able to give to others of yourself freely, without resentment.
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Forgive. [Ignoscito tibi] Though we are powerless to change circumstances that have already gone by, we can change how we look at those circumstances now by forgiving the person, or cause, of our resentment(s) and let go. Harboring deep negative feelings doesn't hurt the person or thing on which you are focused, it hurts you. Forgiveness allows you to move on in a positive fashion, making your life's and work's journey so much easier.

I will focus on the best [Fluctuat nec mergitur]. I believe we walk through this life with the choice of how we perceive each person we meet and each circumstance we are in. We can choose to see those people and circumstances in the best light or the worst. It is especially problematical for managers and Board members to stay focused on the best in people because many times the worst side is the one people present to us. So I propose that we give the negativity around us acknowledgement, but we do not let it overwhelm us by giving it more import than it requires. For each negative event that does happen, challenge yourself to find something positive to think or say about that event even if it's only to be thrilled the event is over.

I'll laugh more. [Ride] Most of us don't laugh enough in our lives, and frankly I don't get it. Our business is ripe with ridiculous and absurd situations. I mean really! It may take you a few days, weeks or months to see the humor in some situations, but if you let it, it will come. Laughing promotes feelings of well-being, camaraderie, health and longevity. If you aren't getting a big, guffawing laugh at least three times a day - you aren't trying. Laugh. It's really funny out there and to prove my point, here's one I heard just a month ago:

Homeowner calls in to the management company very angry because she received a letter telling her to clean up the weeds in her bed. "Weeds in my bed?! How dare you! The only way you would know if I have weeds in my bed is if you looked in the window!"
You can't make this stuff up! Merry Christmas, everyone! - Julie

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